Atlantis, Bahamas!

My husband is a good man. He is a kind, selfless, good man. He let me go on a girls trip to the Bahamas! And leave the child with him! Eeek! 

Flying over Florida

I felt really guilty going without him, but honestly, we couldn't afford for both of us to go (really even one of us) but with my ticket being half paid for, I really couldn't decline either.

 It was glorious. 

(Except the part where I got the stomach bug for the first 24 hours and was bed ridden, in paradise. I felt so awful and missed my loving husband who would have taken care of me :(  )  Other than that, It was amazing. I had to really pack in the fun those remaining two days. 

We stayed at a 'sister hotel' of the Atlantis resort. Our hotel room door was about 50 yards from the front door of the resort. 

Very cute hotel. I think it was the Comfort Suites. Hardly anybody was in the pool at any given time. They had a bar and a good breakfast and great security. 

But the resort.......

Lawdy lawdy, it was beautiful! Breathtaking! Magnificent! Glorious! Enchanting! 

(That's all I got) 

The artwork was amazing. The sculptures and statues and fountains and ponds! Oh my!

Really, it was magical. I did not have enough time to venture into everything, but I'd love to know how much I walked in those two days. 

Did I mention the day I got over my stomach bug, my companion got sick? Yeah. Sucky. So, my second day was really all just exploring by myself........ 

Cue the song.....

It wasn't bad at all though. There really was so much to explore that I otherwise would not have seen. Like the aquarium! In the hotel. Ah-mazing! 

Remember the commercials? The guests riding down a water slide through a tunnel, inside a shark tank?!? 

 Yeah, I went down that! There are actually two tunnels here, one is a free fall and the other is a tube slide. The free fall scared the snot out of me. Seriously. My bathing suit was wedged up in places it shouldn't have been, and my stomach was in my throat. There was no looking at sharks in that one. When I went over the edge I briefly saw a beautiful view that was quickly thought to be my last. Then it was over. I definitely preferred the tube slide.  I feel old. 😞 However, the tube slide also allowed for pictures of the sharks and the ability to slow down and watch them swim past you. 

That tube behind the shark is the aforementioned slide of death. 

Here is a gorgeous panorama of the beach. This was a public beach in Nassau with zero people on it. It was gorgeous and quiet and peaceful. The resort beach was crowded and busy and had a steep slope to the water. It also had lots of people trying to sell stuff. Necklaces, jet ski rides, swimming with dolphins etc. I preferred this quiet little beach. An aquaintance  of my friends took us for a joyride around the east side of the island. There was some celebration and parade that kept us from touring all of it. We saw some of the nicer neighborhoods, politicians homes, along with the mayors, and also the jail. Lol 

A hermit crab a little boy found and stopped to show me.

I also got stung by a jelly fish. It was a tiny little thing and I can hardly say 'stung by it'. It definitely touched me and I got a little itchy rash from it. My friend said jellyfish here don't sting, but I am allergic to many strange flaura and fauna. 

I'm not much of a gambler, but as I was passing the casino I looked through a window and saw a slot machine that I had to play. It was a Dia De Los Muertos themed slot machine! I went inside and tracked it down only to find it was out of order, and the only one like it there. Argh!

I really can't wait for my son to be older and bring him and my husband back here. Incredible guilt, experiencing all of this and not being able to share it with them. It was a great place for families. 

You really would never have to leave the hotel if you didn't want to. Everything is there. 

On our last day we did leave the resort and went into downtown Nassau. We took a ferry across the channel and had a great little tour by a charming lottle old toothless man. We did a little shopping but the shopkeepers were pushy in trying to sell stuff I was not interested in. I really dislike that. We tried to hit up one of the markets (my favorite!) but they were closing up as we got there. A few ladies in Yates their booths and let us look around and I bought souvenirs from them. We then took a bus to the bridges that crossed the channel. Instead I've going over we walked underneath them to a little row of shacks. 

(Image from google) 

This was, apparently, some of the best food around. It was here I tried my first bite of conch. Just writing about it makes me crave it. It was delicious. 

I had fried conch and my friend had conch soup. The moon was full and amazing over the beautiful waters of Nassau. We chatted with locals and enjoyed a few beers before our long walk back to the hotel. (It was actually not that long, but walking up that bridge was close to torture. It was so steep!) 

(Another google image, it was too dark for any of my own pictures) 

Illness aside, this was an amazing trip. I wish I had more time, and can't wait to take my family back there. I highly recommend you go. (Did I mention there is a lazy river?!?)

Calaveras- A Pop Up store

In downtown Albuquerque the 'Downtown Action Team' is offering some empty office space to small online businesses for free in an effort to fill space. The idea is to let the artist or business owner get a feel for life with a shop, and if they choose to stay open the space manager will give them a discounted rent for the first 6 months to get started.

My mom signed up to open a Day Of The Dead shop. Her and my brother had been collaborating on some clay skulls he was making and she was painting. At the same time, and unknowingly, I had been making these lavender sachets out of super awesome fabric I had picked up at a quilt shop. 

We talked about including my sachets in the shop and I was excited to participate. 

I'm not quite sure what the goal was in the beginning, or what she was expecting, but at the beginning of October, she realized the shop being open was in direct overlap of her trip to Europe. Around that time she was also having a hard time getting ahold of my brother and getting any solid commitment from him as to what he was putting in the shop other than skulls. Fairly quickly this became my 'thing'. I was the only one with time enough to make things to put into the shop. My mom bought me many supplies to get started and I began to, rather frantically, make Dia De Los Muertos themed items. I made pillows and earrings, necklaces and sachets. T-shirts and banners. I made a LOT of product.

The day came to start readying the little shop space to make it our own. Luckily the resident prior had some good taste and left the walls with a teal top and chalkboard bottom. That made it easy for me since it fit right in with our theme. With the help of my husband and a great artist friend we began to transform the empty space into our own. This was absolutely my favorite part. My friend Alyssa ( http://instagram.com/chillehott ) did beautiful chalk art around the walls and painted the Windows. 

I painted burnt orange designs on the teal top.

(Most of the pictures are dark since I could only go in the evenings, sorry) 

We hung the paper banners sound the Windows and it added a nice shop front touch.

 I used my cricut a lot for this project. It was very handy! 

The main walls we had to leave white. We put up large pieces of sheet metal and metal lath to hang magnets, key chains, earrings and necklaces on. 

We blocked a doorway with string and made it a place to display t-shirts. (All the artwork on those shirts is Alyssa's)

It's amazing that I was able to create enough product in less then a month to fill a small shop. My brother did provide his clay skulls and a few necklace. 

One of his friends also provided some of her art. They were little wood minting or display boards with animal skulls painted on them. I did not get any photos of them. 

The final artwork. She did such a wonderful job! I loved writing descriptions and prices on the walls! That would really be an awesome display strategy for a small shop. 

Lavender sachet display. 

Wallets next to the sachets.

Hand painted and battery operated LED lanterns.

Pillows and a display. 

Purses and the main display.

I can't find my pictures of the front window art. But I will continue looking and post when I find it. The shop was a lot of fun to put on. Although, the location was not the greatest. There was not a lot of foot traffic. I could see scores of movie goers walking down 1st to their cars but I was 3 shops in the street and they hardly looked my way. I wouldn't say it was a success, but I had a lot of fun producing it. In the end, I had a ton of product left over and I quickly signed up for a few holiday craft fairs. I had always wanted to do a craft fair, but never had the stock to sign up for one. Noes my chance!

San Antonio Hot Springs, Jemez NM

Short post- but If you've never been here, it is amazing! The view from the spring pools are amazing. 

Our friend from high school came to visit for the first time in almost 10 years. This was my husbands best friend, so we had like a two week party and reunion with high school buddies, going to places, old favorites, we've not been in a long time.

 

The view walking up to the pools.

My son really had a lot of fun. Lucky for us the gates were open so we didn't have to do the mile+ long hike with him. That would have been disastrous.

Beautiful walk. Beautiful view. Beautiful time. 😊

Trials, Errors, & Loss

This summer has been frustrating.

Trying.

Disappointing. 

And depressing.

Thus, the lack of posts.  

My beloved little greenhouse got wind blown straight over and snapped 1/2 my beautiful tomato plants in half. I lost about half of my seedlings. :( 

The soil I purchased for my raised beds was from a trusted source, so I did not test it. BIG fail. I didn't realize anything was wrong until people were picking ripe tomatoes from their garden and mine had not even bloomed. The PH level was through the roof. I amended the soil with gypsum salt and within a week I had blooms. The tomatoes were cracked at harvest though. The carrots never made it, most never even sprouting. I planted 2 packets of seeds and harvested maybe 10. The eggplants did AMAZING! I have never seen bigger eggplants in my life. Alas, my family did not enjoy eating them. We did eggplant lasagna and eggplant Parmesan.  Maybe when my kid isn't I-don't-like-anything-but-candy years old, we will try again. The green chile, jalapeños and habaneros all did fantastic. We harvested 20 lbs total. Bell peppers did ok, they were all very funky looking, they never developed the bottoms 'bumps' and sort of grew to a tip. Still delicious though. Lettuce and spins he did great but I felt like a lot of it went to waste as we were not eating it fast enough. The rabbits enjoyed it though. 

My computer had a freak out moment while transferring ALL of my garden photos of the season and I lost them all. Thus, no pictures, only fabulous tales of harvests. 

All of this was peanuts after the start. 

I lost a pregnancy.

 We discovered I was pregnant, two weeks before Mother's Day. It was unplanned and a very big surprise. We had just enough time for the news to sink in, and start to be really excited about it when I became very ill one day. I was just over 8 weeks pregnant and had told our mothers the news for Mother's Day,  but were not revealing it to anyone else just yet. 

May 29th was a typical day. The kids were down for their nap and I was enjoying some quiet time on the couch when I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my abdomen, on the left side. It brought instant tears to my eyes, and felt like I was being stabbed from the inside. This was about 2pm. After an urge to BM, I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet for an hour in pain. My mind? In complete denial. I thought it was just gas, as I had just eaten a hamburger (the 1st of any meat at all since before Christmas, as we had been eating vegan for several months) and was sure my tummy was not happy. I threw up repeatedly in my sons step stool while still on the toilet, and began texting any family member I could think was available to come help me watch the kids. One by one they began to wake up, needing snacks and attention that I was unable to give. I finally reached my mom who came over as fast as she could. I made my way to the couch and could only double over in pain. I spoke to my midwife who said it could be many things including miscarriage, ectopic or maybe gas, and recommended an ultrasound. Problem was, I would have to get there in 20 minutes, or they would close. 

Not possible. 

I had parents of 4 kids coming to pick them up and none had met my mom before. Besides, this was just gas, right? I'm fine. The baby's fine. It will pass. 

I hid in the bathroom in pain when their parents came. All the while I was texting a dear friend who had been through several miscarriages. She assured me, none had caused her this much pain and there would most likely be blood. It's got to be just gas.

 I didn't have insurance at the time and was fearful of how much a visit would cost. 

My husband came home and my mom left, assuring me it was just gas. Everything was fine. 

 

It was 6 o'clock. I couldn't eat. The pain would waver off and then come back. Just gas?

Spoke to my midwife again and she urged me to go to the hospital and get looked at, but left the decision up to me. 

It's just gas. That damn greasy hamburger. 

At 6:30 I started to bleed, fresh red blood. It's gone, I thought. The baby is gone. I was having a miscarriage. I texted my friend. At this point she also urged me to go to the hospital. None of her miscarriages caused this much pain or vomiting. Something's wrong. I looked up 'ectopic pregnancies' online. I had only briefly heard of them before. When I was done reading the Wikipedia description, I told my husband I needed to go to the hospital. 

Ectopic Pegnancy;

An ectopic pregnancy, or eccysis, is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo implants outside the uterine cavity.

The catchy line was;

'An ectopic pregnancy is a potential medical emergency, and, if not treated properly, can lead to death'

The symptoms were described as exactly what I was experiencing. The pain was getting worse. I was at the hospital by 7 looking a hot mess. Uncontrollable sobbing, snot leaking from my face at a rate I couldn't wipe away because I was keeling over in pain, holding on to my abdomen. I was rolled through the door while my 3 year old watched. They knew what it was immediately when I said I was 8 weeks along. 

They gave me three doses of pain killers before the pain started to subside. I had to pee in a cup in a wheeled chair-potty with help from an incredibly hot male nurse.

Just shoot me already. 

It was shift change. Chaos. 

Every male employee of that hospital belonged on General Hospital. Maybe it was the drugs, but good gravy, they were so good looking. Which made every part of this experience more painful and somewhat embarrassing. I had 5 vaginal ultrasounds and two surface ones. I had to show my dirty, bloody underwear to a 22 year old, hot, student nurse with my legs spread, butt on a pillow, 10 feet away from 35 other people with only a sheet separating us. 

And I was losing my baby. 

We had just chosen a girls name, two days earlier. 

My phone was dying, my husband was not allowed in the ER, and the last time I saw my son was when I was being wheeled in. 

I had so much fluid the doctors could not find the fetus. Three different doctors examined me. The ER doctor, twice, the On Call OBGYN, the two of them together, and then the sonographer. Where was it? Was there one heartbeat? Or two? Was there a rupture? No one could give an answer. 

What was certain was that it was the left side, and there was fluid, and there was at least one heartbeat. They could not say 100% if there was a rupture but they were pretty sure. Surgery was required. If the tube was ruptured they may have to remove it.

 Please sign these forms. 

They finally let my husband sneak in at 10pm. My son was with my mom for the night. 

At 11pm they wheeled me to the operating floor. Arrangements were made with the hubs for an end/pick up time and we asked any questions we had for the surgeon. Anesthesia was given and I faded into black. 

I woke up at 2am. Twelve hours had passed since my baby had grown too large for my left fallopian tube, where it had implanted just two weeks earlier. The tube had ruptured causing me to bleed internally. The fetus was removed and the tube was able to be repaired. The surgery was microscopic, so I had three 10mm incisions on my stomach. One was inside my belly button. 

There was a plump nurse sitting next to me with a sympathetic and kind face. We were in a desolate recovery room. Eight beds and one patient, one nurse. My lips were swollen and chapped, but only on the right side. I immediately attempted to wet them with my tongue. It felt like sandpaper on a fresh wound. Tearing the soft, tender skin of my puffy lips. The nurse was ready with a stick of Chapstick and applied it. Next, ice chips. My throat was on fire. I had had cotton and tubes in my mouth, down my throat. I sobbed silently. She was kind and held my hand in silence.

Very shortly after, the only person who could feel my pain walked in. 

We went over after care and I had to pee before I could leave due to the catheter. I was given a prescription for pain killers and stool softeners, and sent home. 

At 4am I climbed the stairs to my bed. 

At 6am I finally slept. 

I lost my baby. 

24 hours ago I was pregnant. 

Now, I am not. 

San Diego -Our Vacation

I absolutely love the west coast. It is my favorite vacation/beach spot. The smell. The people. The trees. They cannot be compared.

This is the third year we have rented a small, beachside condo outside of San Diego.

 I love the little surrounding beach towns. We share the condo with another couple and their two kids. It saves on costs and really is awesome for the kids to have a play mate the whole time. We had a most amazing and peaceful time. 

This is truly my favorite place on earth to be. I feel so connected and at peace here. 

And I'm having an amazing time sharing it with my boys. ❤️❤️